03/10/2019 at 10:51 #4187AnneParticipant
I grew up feeling resentful, thinking I was a victim. Sure I thought I had reasons for this – parents fighting, then separating in a time when parents just didn’t; a year spent in hospital as a 3 year old with tuberculosis, with no visits from mum or dad, and nursing staff who felt the best that could be done was pinning me to a bed with leather straps and telling me off as a very naughty child when I couldn’t adjust the timing of my toileting to their busy schedules. And many more stories, too numerous, and ultimately too boring, to tell here – been there, done that! I remember reading Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life in my early thirties, and getting very angry at the suggestion that I created that tuberculosis myself – Not possible! I raged. I was only little! I am a victim!
Then in 1990 I met P’taah. I felt myself basking in a wash of LOVE, and slowly I began to understand that there are no victims; that I do, indeed, create my own reality; and that I am, regardless of how it seems, a powerful, spiritual being with choice in every now moment. It has taken me a while to really let go of my victimhood. It was scary – how could I take responsibility for all the awful things that have happened to me? How could I, a frightened, lonely little girl, possibly have been responsible for the behaviour of my parents? With P’taah’s guidance I began to understand that I am not responsible for my parents’ behaviour, but I am absolutely responsible for how I FEEL about their behaviour. And because I am responsible for how I feel I can change it. Now this was liberating!02/11/2019 at 21:44 #5634Jose Luis MartinParticipant
That to me is a fascinating idea. The way have experienced it is that some time I get it and it empowers me a lot, as I am the creator of my reality fear is replaced by security and wonder even if the situation does not change. Then other times I forget it and then I put myself again outside of my creation and become an effect instead of the cause. Other times I will be hard on me because how come I could ever want to create this!!! Then again is to understand that if there is pain it is because I am acting out what it needs to be healed. I get again in the center point in sovereignty. Then suddenly I find myself creating something amazing. So it has been like a roller coaster going from the center of creation to the victim of the universe, wonder if I would ever stay most of the time in the center in this human experience.04/11/2019 at 10:11 #5697AnneParticipant
Yes Jose Luis, a roller coaster describes it perfectly!
Yesterday I experienced a wondrous example of how each of us creates our own reality. I drove a friend to the local supermarket so we could both do our shopping. My friend was was feeling irritable in a grumpy, ‘everything’s awful’ kind of mood, and she had a hard time in the supermarket – she said she couldn’t find what she wanted and no-one was helpful, then she had to wait for a very long time in the checkout line, and so on. On the other hand I was in a good mood, immersed in my thanks and gratitudes, and I had a very easy shopping experience – in the same supermarket at the same time as my friend was having such a difficult experience!
More and more I am noticing this kind of thing happening in my day to day life – helping me to be more and more in my thanks and gratitudes, remaining in my centre point more and more. For which I am very grateful cos being off my centre point is hard work!
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